Chase Utley has three home runs through game five of the World Series, tying the all-time record originally set by Reggie Jackson.  He hit three of them off of Yankees ace CC Sabathia, two of them in a single game.  He’s got people talking, calling him the new Mr. October.  Is he?

Let’s review.

Is there a candy bar deal in the works?  The Chase Bar?  Haven’t heard anything yet, and even if something comes through, it’s going to be tough to beat the Reggie Bar, a delicious combination of caramel, peanuts and chocolate.

Does Chase have one of these?  Didn’t think so.

How about a starring movie role?  Or at least a cameo? Until Chase plays the role of a robotic killer with the same honest, gut-wrenching performance Reggie delivered on the silver screen with Leslie Nielsen and Priscilla Presley, it’ll be hard to put him in Jackson’s class.

What about endorsements?  Although Reggie never officially endorsed Ambervision, it’s safe to say his trademark shades paved the way to a huge opportunity in revolutionary gradient tinted sunglasses, all for $9.95.

Does Chase have sunglasses as cool as these?  Negative.

On the other hand, Chase might have an opportunity to edge out Reggie with a hair product endorsement.  Even with that world-class ‘fro, Reggie never bagged any major hair product deals.  Not even for activator.  Seriously, does Chase line his batting helmet with olive oil to get that slicked back sheen, or has he just been boycotting showers throughout the series?  Either way, he’s making Luca Toni awfully jealous.

Chase Utley – greasy hair, great hold.

Luca Toni – greasy hair, no hold.

In the end, we have to remember that Reggie has five World Series Championships.  Four more than Chase.

More importantly, we have to remember that Reggie needed the nickname.  We all remember him as Reggie, or Mr. October.  But his given name was not Reggie.  It was Reginald.  Isn’t Reginald a name for white kids that eat paste in art class?

And it doesn’t end there.  It’s not just Reginald.  It’s Reginald Martinez.  What kind of parents name their African-American son Reginald?  What kind of parents name their non-Hispanic son Martinez?

Chase, you’re playing great.   Three homers off of CC is incredible.  Clutch homers at that.  Two of them with two strikes for crying out loud!  But let’s just be nice on this one.  Reggie’s old.  His candy bar is gone.  His afro is gone.  At least let him keep his name.